December 18, 2016
As most of you know, I have spent the last 14 months in and out of the YWAM base in Kona Hawaii (also known as the YWAM "mothership" because it's giant lol), and this quarter (Sep-Dec) I have been staffing a three month Bible school on campus called the Discipleship Bible School. We have had speakers come every week to cover the different eras of time within the Bible, and we read the whole Bible in three months, with the goal of receiving a deeper understanding/revelation of God's redemptive plan for mankind. And let me tell you, it is life-changing.
This quarter will be my last here (as far as I know), so I've been reflecting back on all that God has done for me through YWAM Kona. I am overwhelmed. I walk around base and I just cry because of His goodness to me in bringing me here.
It all started with DTS last October, when my life turned upside down in the best way possible (see previous posts).
Then I did my DBS (discipleship bible school) this past April, and I was awakened to what was actually in the Bible, what great love, wisdom, and giant redemptive story our glorious God has given us. (and how it is very worthy of our time to read)
Then, staffing the DBS(this quarter): aewfihiwuegfiuwaefiu (that is my reaction to trying to think of what to say). My Jesus has been too good to me this season. Too, too good. I am so overwhelmed, so undone by Him. I came into this season so fearful: How could I possibly staff a school when I felt so unqualified? When I had so little experience, especially in the Bible. How could I lead a small group and disciple people when I am so broken and sinful myself? How could God use me as I still struggled heavily with fear of man and self-hate and lack of confidence in Him?
From the moment I got to the Fresno airport to leave in September, things were going "wrong". Everything seemed to be against me, and I continued to feel that way throughout the first part of the school. Emotionally, physically, spiritually- I felt cornered on all sides.
I felt "not enough"
I felt weak
I felt like a failure.
I didn't realize, or remember, then that there is an Enemy in this world whowants steal fromme, who wants to killme, and who wantsme destroyed (all are a result of separation from God). This enemy won't stop at anything to accomplish this, and this season was me
discovering that Jesus is my answer- and what I mean by "really" is that I don't just believe it in my mind anymore, but my heart understands it too.
In the bigger picture, the bigger story, my Jesus has conquered death, and the sin that leads to death, and He brings abundant LIFE.
In this season, Jesus has taught me howto live inabundant Life with Him. I have learned the freedom of humbling myself with Him.I have conquered fears with Him. I have been stretched with Him. I have learned to find the light of His Joy in times of darkness with Him. I have learned to rest with Him. I have learned to trust with Him. I have learned to love others better with Him. I have learned discipline and hard work with Him.I have learned that good leadership is just good serving with Him.I have understood a greater amount of His character and His Story with Him. I have learned that I have freedom with Him - freedom to sing and to cry with Him.I have learned to believe in myself with Him. I have realized deeply that He is all I need, with Him. I keep crying as I type this, because it's with Him.
Key words:
.
I know it sounds obvious, typical Christian lingo - but I have beenshocked at how easily I can forget this and be distracted.
This is so important - being in the present moment
, always.
THAT is the Life we are created to live.
THAT is the answer to all, and I mean ALL, of our problems.
Delighting yourself in Him, listening to His voice, and obeying - this is literally all we need in life. And I promise He will never disappoint.
So now, looking back and processing through this season, I see that everything the enemy intendedfor evil, my God used for Good:
I see that in all of my weaknesses, He can be made most strong. It's all Him, not me:
I see that He has won this battle, and my job is to use what He has given me to reach His children in all the nations. And wherever He calls me, He will be with me:
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I have lovedthis past year at YWAM Kona, I have lovedmy time staffing, and love the people God surrounded me with- the people I got to do Life
with.
I have been healed and I have been humbled, and I am a work in progress. And every single piece of the glory goes to Him.
{To everyone who has supportedme and encouraged me: There are no words for my thankfulness. You have been just as much a part of this ministry as I have. You have allowed me to be transformed in an incredible way, and you have allowed so many others to be transformed as well. Thank you for partnering in the ministry of Jesus with me - all glory and thanks to Him.}
Love and Blessings,
Katie :)
#4moredaysuntilImhome
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